This one is by David Shade, in 1999, Message-ID: 36DE8A7E.809F5AFD@hotmail.com
I got so sick of giving women attention, affectionate, dinners, theatre tickets, and flowers, while watching the women leave for bad boys who pay little or nothing for it. I decided to study these bad boys and find out what their secret is. I even asked a couple chicks who did leave me for a bad boy what she saw in him. I never got a straight answer, and found that they didn’t even know themselves.
I started going in the right direction after reading F.J. Sharks book “How to be the Jerk Women Love.” Though I do not subscribe to everything he says (he likes to find beautiful women who have a low
valuation of themselves, see the top of page 69) it did start to open doors. I also learned from Peter Latourette’s “The Guide to Meeting Beautiful Women.” Reading this ng has helped immensely and has taught me the importance of not being supplicating.
I think to myself “I give women things and get nowhere. The bad boys never give women anything but get it all.” Hmmm… A little light goes off. Maybe I should not give women anything.
But that is impossible. I certainly have to give her SOME affection. I know that if I am not going to take her directly from the frozen food isle to my home, I am going to have to stop somewhere along the way and buy her coffee, a drink, maybe even take her out dancing. I notice that the bad boys do take their women out dancing.
What is interesting about observing these bad boys with their women is that the bad boys appear to posses a coy don’t care attitude. It appears that the women are the affection givers. While watching such bad boys in action, I noticed that he would be affectionate towards his date only after she would give him some affection. For example, she kisses him - he then puts his had on her knee. She puts her arms around him - he sits a little closer to her. OK, now I get it. The
bad boy got her to make the first affectionate advance towards this man who is playing hard to get, and he then allows her to enjoy a little more affection from him. This started looking to me like he was REWARDING her for her actions. Damn, that’s a great concept!
So, now I know the bad boy’s secret. They never give a woman anything unless it is to reward her for something she has done for him.
When I look at these bad boys in action, I cannot help but think of the animal trainers at Sea World who train the show whales. The trainers reward the whales with a fish when the whales perform the specified trick. If the whale fails to obey the trainer, the whale receives no fish. For the very stubborn whale that does not respond to anything whatsoever, the trainer will grab the whale’s attention by feeding it a bucket of fish, and then totally ignore the whale until the whale decides it will start playing along. This is not to say that bad boys think women are show whales, but supplicating men certainly act like hungry show whales ready to do anything for a fish.
The bad boy will start by throwing out a bucket of fish – he will make a move on the woman, building rapport with her, and making himself appear interesting to her. He will then challenge her in some way to perform for him. When she does, he rewards her in a manner commensurate with what she gave him and no more than that. His reward to her is one which is not supplicating, but instead, builds more rapport with her, creates more respect for him, makes her feel even better about herself when she gives to him, and is such that it makes her want to give even more.
In recent months, I have made it a point to use the tactics used by the bad boys. It has gotten me a lot farther. I decided to play hard to get once I had gotten her interested in going out. I made it a point to be interesting and suggestive, but do nothing past that. I let her be affectionate towards me first. Only after that did I reciprocate some affection, and only to the degree that she did. I was amazed at how well this worked.
I was most amazed at how quickly this moved things along in the correct direction. About a month ago, I used this technique on a hot babe who had a “three month rule.” I challenged her and enticed her and rewarded her for giving to me. I bagged her on the second date. Not that I “conquered” her. She did everything. I imagine she really did not want to have to wait the three months as she is a normal healthy human being.
Just tonight John Reel posted the following in which he describes his past frustrations, but in doing something new, he bagged a hot babe the night he met her:
“So what changed? It's sooo subtle, that I'm almost not sure. Just have to try not to slip back into old patterns. To make a case study […] When we were dancing and she stopped and just started watching me from the sidelines (we were right at the edge of the floor), I practically ignored her, and in fact danced facing away from her. Even ignored her when she 'accidentally' dropped something near me for me to pick up - twice. Every once in a while, I'd look her way and smile or something, just to make sure she knew I wasn't totally disinterested. Only when she made an advance to get my attention did I pick up the things she dropped.”
Sounds like a very well executed reward.
A week ago I went into a small shop in the mall to talk to this one cute chick. I made it a point to not pay her any compliments. After about 10 minutes of building rapport, she tells me that she saw me in the coffee shop earlier. I turn this into a compliment of me by saying “That makes me feel good that you noticed me.” “Yes, well I did.” I can then reward her by finally complementing her, so I say “Well, when I saw you in this store, I knew I had to come in.” She says with a huge smile: “Wow, that is so sweet.” I have rewarded her and I have built more rapport. It makes her feel good about talking with me. It makes her want to give more. I got her phone number. Later she ran after me to give me her cell phone number too, just in case she misses my call. Would she have had this much respect for me if I had come into the store and right away told her why I came in? Chances are that it would not have been as genuine.
I now use this on women who ask me to spend money on them. This has happened so many times to me in the past. For example, I call her and suggest meeting for coffee. She says “Why don’t we have dinner?” The invitation was for coffee, but she wants to have dinner. She could be wishing that I feed her dinner. It probably is true, but let’s assume for the moment that we don’t know. Now, I could be supplicating and just say “okay.” I will be giving her something just because she asked for it. Instead, I should only pay for dinner as a reward for something she does for me. I turn this into her giving something to me by saying to her “You would like to go to dinner?” And wait to see what she says. If she does not give me something, I insist on coffee. She will have learned that I do not give things away. But, most likely, she will try to justify it to me. If that includes something like “I would like to spend more time with you in a more romantic setting” then I can say “Oh, that makes me feel good that you would want to spend more time with me and be with me in a romantic setting.” “Well, I do.” Now I will be buying dinner as a reward for her saying that she would like to spend more time with me in a romantic setting. She is happy that I have agreed that it will be quality time in a romantic setting. This makes her feel better about me in the proper way. That will help set the tone for dinner.
I know it sounds like small stuff, but it is the attitude you must posses at all times. It all builds on itself over time. Seduction is a chain of building rapport, suggestively enticing, receiving, and rewarding – which builds more rapport, from which you suggestively entice even more, etc.
NEVER give her ANYTHING, instead REWARD her.
Build rapport
Suggestively entice
Receive
Reward